A woman I love dearly was raped while in High School by her Prom date.
It’s not something she shares with many people due to the shame and blame associated with it.
The shame that knowing that her first “sexual” experience was being pinned down and forcibly penetrated. The shame of being a poor judge of character. The shame at being in a situation with him that allowed him to rape her. The shame of thinking it would be fun to have a hotel room on Prom night. The shame at being naïve. The shame at not fighting back.
When she confronted him days later, his response was “you wanted it.” He was wrong. Nobody wants to be raped.
For the last 33 years, she has blocked this event from her daily life. It shows up when least expected. It showed up the night she told me in a crowded sushi restaurant because she had to get it out of her system. It shows up when hearing about women (and men) coming forward in the #MeToo movement. How with each public statement she wants to hide even more. It showed up while filling out forms for a spiritual retreat that had a question about sexual assault. She answered honestly and then immediately tore up the pages she’d spent over an hour filling out. I thought she was going to eat the paper, just to keep her secret stuffed deep inside. Instead she held her heart, breathing heavy, trying to calm her anxiety.
She will always relive what happened to her because being raped and sexually assaulted never goes away. The actions of the assaulter FOREVER shape your relationship with yourself, connection to other people, feelings of safety, shame and blame.
She went to the Prom a handsome and popular young man. She went as a favor to him because they were friends. They had dated in her junior year. He broke up with her because she wouldn’t have sex with him. She was a Catholic girl and was saving herself. Never did she think he would attack her and force her into sex when she emphatically and repeatedly said NO.
Brett Kavanaugh could have been her prom date.
This woman and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford are the same age. Both were attacked when they were teens. Brett Kavanaugh knew what he was doing. He locked the door. He turned up the music. He covered Dr Ford’s mouth with his hands so she couldn’t scream. He knew she was scared. He knew she didn’t want her clothes pulled off. He knew it was wrong and he didn’t stop. He didn’t care. She didn’t matter.
Like Kavanaugh, her Prom date knew what he did was wrong. He knew it when he forced himself on her. He knew it when she was crying. He knew it when he forcefully pushed her hands away from protecting her vagina. He knew it when she threw up on the side of the bed. None of that mattered. She didn’t matter. Only he mattered
Women who are raped have done nothing wrong and yet they live with the wrong doing forever.
This GOP doesn't care. They support a sexual predator President. They are jamming through a man whose actions negate the lives of every woman in our country and a lot of men too.
This is a reflection on how we feel about women and girls and the culture of dominance we either resist or accept.
The Supreme Court is a LIFETIME position. This is why we VOTE. We need to take a stand. NOW. Before it’s too late.
MAKE CALLS TODAY as this confirmation is a matter of life and death.
Here are the numbers to call. Please take five minutes to demand an FBI investigation into the accusations against Kavanaugh. Their antics blocked Merrick Garland and they are pushing this man forward without proper vetting and an FBI investigation.
Senator Grassley (R –IA) - (202) 224-3744
Senator Hatch (R –UT) - (202) 224-5251
Senator Graham (R-SC) - (202) 224-5972
Senator Cornyn (R-TX) - (202) 224-2934
Senator Lee (R-UT) - (202) 224-5444
Senator Cruz (R-TX) - (202) 224-5922
Senator Sasse (R-NE) - (202) 224-4224
Senator Flake (R-AZ) - (202) 224-4521
Senator Crapo (R-ID) - (202) 224-6142
Senator Tillis (R-NC) - (202) 224-6342
Senator Kennedy (R-LA) - (202) 224-4623
We are not free until we are all equal.
With love and gratitude –